March 07th: Rich woke up feeling very dizzy. He was not able to attend church. After I gave him his pills and he laid down for several hours, he felt good enough to go to his Lion's group breakfast. He had a great time. Many of his friends stopped by to visit. Rich's friend Dennis Theilen just arrived back from Texas after being gone for 6 weeks.

Rich was able to go to a movie this afternoon. We saw the movie "Save A Life". If you have teenage kids, this movie is a must see. It was one of the best movies I have seen in a very long time. It depicts real life situations that teens deal with today--loneliness, the need to be loved, sex, pregnancy, alcohol, divorce and spirituality. 

Hospice came to visit on Tuesday. We discussed the different medications that Rich was taking. Darlene ran the meds and found that some of them clashed and should not be taken together. Hospice has been helping me slowly reduce the many drugs Rich was put on while working with the University of MN. One of the many drugs Rich was taking was dexamethazone. This drug is a very nasty steroid and is only intended to be used for a short time to control swelling in the brain after surgery. It made Rich feel like his skin was crawling and it caused him to be very anxious and cry whenever he would speak.  He is now only taking 2 mgs instead of 16 a day. Since we have reduced this drug, Rich is able to sleep and not feel so hungry.

Many friends have been taking Rich driving which he thoroughly enjoys. He has been to St. Cloud, Alexandria, Wilmar, Grey Eagle and this week who knows.

Each day seems to bring its own problems. Genia is so angry and just does not want to talk. She is very critical about everything that is happening around here. Jared is quiet but yet when you talk to him he gets angry very quickly. Jared's friend Alex came and stayed over night. The two boys went to Tom Fischback's and had a great time. He took them sledding and hunting for deer antlers. After walking many miles, Tom brought the kids back to the farmstead to do some target practice. The kids got to shoot a 20 gauge at turkey targets. Jared did very good for not have having shot a gun before.

Feb 10th:  Rich has several people stay with him today so Genia and I could run to St. Cloud for several Doctor's appointments. Tom Welle stayed with him until his brother Jerome came. Rich went to the eye doctor to have a prism placed in his lenses to help with the double vision. Rich has new symptoms such as his whole face feels numb. We have added new meds to help him control some of the symptoms. The meds make him more tired so he will sleep more.

I feel so guilty when I leave him because I know how anxious he becomes. Everyone tells to to take care of myself but how do I do that. It means I have to find friends to stay with him. I try to have all of his pills setup so I can go. I will also have hospice help we as well. They are so good to us. The neighbors and friends have been just wonderful. My driveway has been cleaned several times through out the storm. Genia has been working all through this storm and loves driving through the many drifts. She thinks it is cool to fish tail-- typical teenager.

Feb 7th:  Johnson Fur Company and Friends
Rich had a very busy weekend. Ray Painter, a great friend of ours, took Rich to Johnson Fur Company where District 5 has there annual Trappers Meeting. Rich came home very happy because he had a great time visiting with so many of his friends. I was excited as well--he came home empty handed. No new traps. I had a very quiet time. Jared went to the Fargo Dome for the Monster Jam with his dad and Genia had to work the whole weekend. I was home alone for the first time in many months. I had many things planned but got very little done. Phone calls and just letting my mind settle down.

On Sunday, we were able to go to church and then partake in the Youth Breakfast. Rich had a chance to visit with his neighbors and learn all of the local news--he has missed so much of.
Then after we got home, we had several friends stop by. It was a great day. Even our favorite team won the Super Bowl--The New Orleans Saints.  It was good to see Rich laugh at the stories told by our friends. It seemed like old times. 

Snow continues to fall on top of are already 17 inches. Eleven new inches have fallen which makes it hard to put wood in the stove.

Feb. 3rd--Four Months After the Diagnosis of Terminal Brain Cancer

Yesterday, Rich decided to become part of the Hospice program with St. Michail's Hospital in Sauk Centre, MN.

Rich is doing very well but his strength and anxiety keep going up. The fear of the unknown is the hardest part of what is going on. He knows he will be dying soon but it is the journey he has to take to get there that scares all of us.

by Herman J. Lensing Melrose Beacon         

About three weeks ago, that time disappeared. He had gone to work and was working on getting an ad for the next issue of the Melrose Beacon. As had happened in recent weeks, he sometimes felt dizzy. His wife Linda insisted he see a doctor. He did. The doctor thought it was vertigo, but recommended he see the physical therapist. During a session with the therapist, he fainted - then everything changed.

"They put me in an ambulance and took me to St. Cloud. At St. Cloud I had an MRI. With the MRI came the results - an in-operable brain tumor. I was once again put into an ambulance and went straight to the University of Minnesota," he said. "Two ambulance rides in one day."

At the University of Minnesota, he was informed that he had a tumor on the brain stem with two fingers, one finger on the left side of the head and the other on the back of the head, and they were growing very quickly.

"It is called Glioblastoma multi-forme," said his wife Linda. "The tumors will cause severe side effects that affect sight, hearing, swallowing, the extremities and all organs."

Chemotherapy and radiation have been ordered, which is hoped will slow down the cancer and take away some of the side effects he is experiencing now. Raeker started those treatments on Wednesday, Oct. 28.

In order to try to stop this cancer, Raeker must undergo both radiation and chemotherapy at the same time. The radiation treatment will take place at the Coborn Cancer Center in St. Cloud for six weeks, five days a week. He will be able to come home in between treatments, which he sees as a blessing.This will give him a chance to visit with people when he is able to.

"People can come to visit," he said. "They can visit with me, visit others. They should take time to be with friends when they can."

Raeker has given of his time and talent to help many. He was very involved with four chambers of commerce (Albany, Melrose, Avon and Holdingford), the Minnesota Trappers Association, the New Munich Lions and New Munich Jaycees, the Stearns County Fair Board, the Stearns County Watershed District, and he and his wife were the chairmen of Immaculate Conception's Munichfest celebration.

His position as advertising manager and general manager of the Melrose Beacon and Stearns-Morrison Enterprise had kept him in touch with a great number of people across the area and state. He promoted and supported various special sections that often saw him helping a group, a team or community celebration hoping to make it something special for all to enjoy.
He pointed out that his decisions to work with those organizations came from a desire to give something back of what he had received. Many felt the same way when they heard of his illness.

"The phone started ringing off the hook," said Linda.

"It was very nice, that they called," said Rich.

But each call also reminded him to some degree of calls or visits he had not always made. He planned to make them, but would often find himself too busy.

"I really want to apologize to all people in the past that I didn't take the time to go visit them," he said. "There was a program on TV where one person said life is not a dash about who can accumulate the most things, but who can accumulate the most friendships. That is what is important in life- friendship."

But while his busy life might have kept him from making all of the visits he had planned to make, he also stayed connected enough with people in the area to understand how to work with them.

In the past few weeks he has made attempts to reach out to people he has not always seen.

"I did not know it was going to be this tough," he said. "I didn't always visit the people I should have. I apologize to all the people I didn't take time to go and visit."

He said those words more than once in recent weeks. He noted that it has hit home how fast a life can change. Linda noted she, too, was affected by the discovery of the tumor.